Why?? Well maybe I'm just jealous of Mr. Winchell's unrelenting talent. Often I feel that Mr. Petty himself chose him as some kind of creative conduit, sending him these beautiful stories of heroic altruism. And I kind of wish he'd chosen me. If only I could draw.
Either way, here's your comic:

You heard it here first, folks: this "Tom Petty" guy is gonna be a big deal someday.
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