(20-year-old music snob SEAN ROSE sits alone in his dorm room. We see a calendar next to his desk that reads "2005." He is listening to The Killers' "Mr. Brightside" on his iPod. Appearing angry, he turns the song off.)
Sean Rose: Jeez, I don't like this song. The Killers suck, and Brandon Flowers is an asshole.
(There is a LOUD KNOCK at the door.)
Sean Rose: Wow, who in the world could that be?
(Sean Rose gets up and opens the door, only to see Brandon Flowers, lead singer of the Killers, wearing Bowie-era makeup. He appears upset.)
Sean Rose: Wow, Brandon Flowers, lead singer of the Killers! What are you doing here, in my neck of the woods?
Brandon Flowers: Oh, I don't know. Just in the neighborhood. I couldn't help but overhear - you don't like my music??
Sean Rose: Well, no, Brandon Flowers. In fact if your band were to break up tomorrow, I would be a happy man.
Brandon Flowers: Well, I wouldn't want to make you upset, Sean Rose. How 'bout I make you a deal. You give me the name of a band you really like, and hey, we'll do something like them!
Sean Rose: No, no thanks. I just plain don't like your music.
Brandon Flowers: Come on, man! We're the Killers - we can do ANYTHING.
(Brandon Flowers peeks into Sean's room and notices a few Bruce Springsteen albums in Sean's record collection. His eyebrows raise with anticipation.)
Brandon Flowers: Hey... you like Bruce Springsteen?
Sean Rose: Uh, yeah I guess. Why do you-
Brandon Flowers: Don't you worry about a thing, my good buddy Sean Rose. We'll win you over yet!!
(Brandon Flowers runs down the hall, a spring in his step. Sean Rose appears confused.)
Sean Rose: Jeez. What was all THAT business about?
(Sean Rose sits alone in a brand-new, slightly bigger dorm room. A strategically-placed television next to him displays the year as "2006". Sean Rose listens to My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" on his computer, but quickly turns it off.)
Sean Rose: Jeez, I sure do not like My Chemical Romance. They are formulaic and can't write a decent song. I wish they-
(Out of the blue, Gerard Way - famed lead singer of My Chemical Romance - walks by Sean Rose's window on a whim. He peeks his long-haired head into the room with a large grin on his face.)
Gerard Way: Hey there Sean! Thought I heard you talkin' 'bout my band.
Sean Rose: Whoa, Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance! What are you doing here??
Gerard Way: Oh, I dunno, I vacation up in Storrs from time to time. Keeps me focused. I'm a little upset, though, you don't sound too enthused with my biggest-selling hit single.
Sean Rose: Well, not really, no.
(Gerard glances over and notices a few Queen albums in Sean Rose's CD collection.)
Gerard Way: Oh hey, Sean... you a Queen fan?
Sean Rose: What?
Gerard Way: Yeah. Oh, nothing. I just saw that Queen album over there, and I thought you'd... well...
Sean Rose: Why do you-
Gerard Way: GOTTA GO!
(Gerard Way runs down the street, leaping over railings with inexplicable tenacity.)
Sean Rose: What an unusual life I lead.
(Sean Rose watches the Youtube video of Panic! At The Disco's "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" in a newer, even bigger dorm room. A New York Times stapled to the wall reveals the year "2008" in large print.)
Sean Rose: My word. Panic! At the Disco are surely the worst rock band in the history of music.
(Out of nowhere, Brandon Urie - boyish lead singer of Panic! At the Disco - leaps out from under Sean Rose's bedsheets. He tips his bowler hat and smiles wide.)
Sean Rose: What the shit, Brandon Urie? What the hell were you doing in my bed??
Brandon Urie: Oh I don't know. Relaxing, dreaming... of wonderful new days to come. Say, I heard through the grapevine that you aren't too fond of "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out."
Sean Rose: Please leave my room, Brandon. I don't know how you got in here, but you frighten me to the bone.
(Brandon Urie glances over at Sean's desk, noticing an unusual glass cup.)
Brandon Urie: Is that a Yellow Submarine cup, Sean? Do you like the Beatles??
Sean Rose: What? No, wait. You aren't going to-
Brandon Urie: You like Sgt. Pepper's, right? Wouldn't you like it if we made another Sgt. Pepper's??
Sean Rose: Please, no, please don't-
Brandon Urie: AND I'M OFF!
(Brandon Urie jumps back into Sean's bed, disappearing under the sheets. Baffled, Sean goes to check his bed; he pulls the sheets away, but there is nobody there.)
Sean Rose: I am a lost child.
(Sean Rose sits alone in a beautiful house, entirely made out of the rarest ivory. LCD television screens cover the walls, each displaying the year "2010" in brilliant white. As Sean plays his giant diamond-studded piano, a bit of Linkin Park's "Minutes To Midnight" plays on TV.)
Sean Rose: My word, what drivel.
(Out of the blue, Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda poke their heads out of Sean Rose's piano.)
Chester Bennington: Isn't that a Bob Dylan poster over there?
Mike Shinoda: Yeah, man, it is.
Chester Bennington: Ok cool, we've got a new musical direction. Now let's get the fuck outta here. We don't want those guard dogs on our asses again.
Mike Shinoda: Yeah, but he's gonna see us.
Chester Bennington: Don't worry, man! Just bail!!
(Chester and Mike jump out of the piano, knocking Mr. Rose down as they trample over him and run away. Sean, perturbed, raises a monocle to his eye.)
Sean Rose: I say. I have been harangued.