So I feel like I'm becoming insular.
...is that the right word? I think it is. I mean that I'm getting too involved in things I'm interested in, or things I'm passionate about (that sounds lam0r), or things I'm involved in. I feel like I'm pushing people away, not getting through, etc. And it's kind of getting to me.
I dunno. Maybe it's really just an idle complaint, considering that my life is pretty good, I've got great friends, and I've got a shitload of opportunities out there considering my feeble age (well... I think so, at least). It's just the little things, you see.
An example. Recently I've been keeping track of this Legend of Zelda retrospective made by GameTrailers.com, which by the way is very well done and informative, plug plug plug, look it up on YouTube if you're interested. Basically, the series goes through every Zelda game ever made and talks about it's significance, important traits, etc. while showing in-game footage/music. And, really, it reminded me about how much I truly love The Legend of Zelda. Yes, it's nerdism, whatever. I will be the first person to admit that I am a big, pimply, scrawny nerdball for the Legend of Zelda. But I think it goes beyond that.
To state the usual cliche, I don't want to resort to the usual labeling. Therein lies the problem. How the hell do I explain to people - non-gamers, I guess they would be - about how much I love a video game franchise? In terms of worth, I put Zelda above the Lord of the Rings, in all honesty, and probably any other fantasy series of books, movies, games, whatever. I mean, yes, it's a video game, and it has a hackneyed, overused concept on paper: a princess is captured by a grotesque pig-demon looking for a Golden Idol so he can take over the world, and a young boy from the forest has to grab a big sword and kill him. But the games' presentations more than make up for it, and every single one is for me a legend unto itself, in both gaming terms and non.
The reason Zelda works so well is its emphasis on environment, feeling, personal emotion. Shigeru Miyamoto, the mastermind behind the series (and pretty much anything else big in the Nintendo world) once claimed that Link was called "Link" for a reason - he's the connection between the player and the world inside each game. The Zelda team puts so much work into creating an expansive, fascinating world for gamers to play in; you become familiar with it, and you learn to love everything about it - which makes saving it all the more important. Since Zelda connects on a personal level, stories involving golden triangles and castles and pig-demons with tridents become vital. It gives you a sense of purpose.
So I guess that's the weird thing about it. I don't want to go into all that "nobody understands me" bullshit, but why the hell would non-gamers give two shits about The Legend of Zelda, a series that most casual gamers have probably witnessed their siblings or friends play excessively and just wonder "Why"? If I were to explain any of the above to someone who isn't into video games, they probably would be like, "Wow, he really likes this stuff, huh? That's kind of... weird. It would be wonderful if he'd change the fucking subject."
Hell, I'm sure some people stopped reading this entry once I started ranting about Zelda. Well, that's bad form on my part, I guess. I started this one NOT talking about video games, but then it just kind of... led to it. Isn't this what always happens?
Well, anyway. There's also the issue of me loving video games TOO much. See, I like to call myself a writer - which would make a fuckrun of sense if I, you know, actually WROTE. Or did SOMETHING. I've got all these ideas for stories, short films, short stories, TV pilots, sketches, essays - but do they ever get off the ground? No, not really. Hell, even my freewriting notebook - which is space I reserve solely for writing gibberish, half-formed ideas, and free-association ramblings about dreams I've had or whatever - hasn't been touched in weeks, maybe months. Instead I'll be killing time playing video games, listening to video game music, and talking about video games.
I mean, the only writing I'm invested in nowadays, besides schoolwork, is... well, this blog. And even here, all I talk about is video games!! HAHA. The irony is sweet like Louisiana wheat. Does that make sense to anyone??
It's similar for music, considering that a lot of the music that I love is revered mostly by indie nerds or rock critics, as opposed to what a lot of other people like. And I have to explain a lot, whenever I talk about the music I like. But that's a whole other story.
So yeah. I have a "passion" for video games (lolz), which could be considered the most counter-productive passion anyone in the world could have, I guess. I press buttons, I sit and gain weight, and I marvel. I love it, for sure. But how the fuck could I express it in an artistic, universal way? How can I get anybody to give a shit, in the long run?
Well. All I can do is hope to create something as universal and poignant as that "Link, He Come To Town" song by the Rabbit Joint or whomever. You know, that song that everyone thinks System of a Down did, for some retarded reason that I'm not aware of. Oh, internet.
In conclusion. I'm an insular (yes... "insular") video game and obscure rock music aficionado who is very very confused and probably too lazy and self-pitying for his own good. Yes... that works.
(And yeah, I'm aware of the irony that most non-gamers who read this probably won't be able to get past the Zelda part. Especially Tolkien fans. Putting Miyamoto above Tolkien is pretty much nerd suicide. Isn't it??)